Thursday, June 28, 2012

Mackin Ain’t Easy.

Peace All.  First I want to express a nice, girly “omgthankyousomuch” for showing black girl, dating some love and helping me to break the 500 mark in views!  I realize that this is nothing relative to the rest of the blogosphere, but it’s far more people than I have ever had to read anything I’ve written.  For this, I truly thank you all.

So, Fifty First Dates! I’d like you all to know that I’ve begun. Yay! However, I’m also gonna be honest and say that I’m already running on fumes with this. It takes a lot of energy to be constantly going out on dates, leaving aside the energy that goes into the pre-date conversations by phone, email, or what have you and date preparation: clothes shopping, grooming in extra detail, etc.  I turned 32 today, and I must tell you that I can feel the difference physically between 32 and 22.  I’m quite a jovial and active person, but clearly not as energetic as I once was.  Since I’m not interested in putting myself in a situation where I need to drink a Red Bull before each date to keep me from spontaneously busting Z’s half way through it,  I’m open to speed dating and other social events that will help me to achieve my goal in a more energy efficient manner.  If you all are knowledgeable about such events taking place in the Triangle and Triad areas of NC, by all means feel free to let me know. 

Now, then, getting down to the nitty-gritty: You’ve been waiting for it, so here it is – The first of the Fifty First Dates!!!

To begin, let’s revisit the previously mentioned contenders (and what you may imagine they look like):

Akhenaten in the flesh.

The Brother – I was feeling this Black dude a little bit.  He was very cute and stylish, and his age appealed to me in that I thought he might be more likely to settle down. But even though he initiated a lot of conversation, he turned out to be a complete and utter flake.  We were communicating via email with some small talk to get us started, and then he fell into a black hole or something.  I could have followed up to try and reestablish contact, but I chose not to.  Sometime later, after enough time had passed that I was no longer considering him, he contacted me with, “Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.”  No further explanation was given: no “my momma was sick,”  “my dog died,” “work was hectic” – nada.  To be clear, it’s not as if I felt entitled to an explanation at all.  I mean, I don’t even know this person. However, I do feel that if he were really interested, he would have offered one.  I declined to respond to his last email, and, in the tradition of the Godfather II, Fredo-ed this random Negro from my inbox, i.e. he’s “nothing to me now.”

What Adam probably looked like
 in the Garden of Eden. 

The Puertorriqueño – I will tell you all that my Boricua brothers remind me of home so much that it is not impossible for them to get some theoretical love from me just on general principle.  Some of my first crushes were from PR, DR, and Cuba.  My interaction with this individual began with a discussion about our names.  He was free with his, and as it is unusual, I felt obliged to enquire after its meaning.  There may be readers out there who find it a strange practice to ask someone what their name means upon meeting them.  Yet, as any number of Taeshawns and Lasheekas can be readily found in the Black Community, the concept of “name meaning” can often be of interest to us.  Anywho, he provided a nice, full explanation of his name which is actually Biblical, though it is spelled in a manner that made it unfamiliar to me at first.  I was not so free with my name, but the explanation that I gave made it clear that there are aspects of Islam integrated into my culture and worldview.  Upon this realization, he never contacted me again. I take from this that when some people say they are nonreligious (as he did), they really mean that they are religious but are just currently not practicing. How does one make sense of the nuances between the various labels people give themselves to indicate their level of religiousness? I think there’s an app for that.  If there isn’t, there should be. It’d be as popular as Grindr.

Well, it was not looking good for your girl.  I was getting discouraged.  But, ah-ha!, there was also Asian3 who I did actually go out with.

J Park knows he has mad swag.

Asian3 –  So, this person and I started out by emailing – a lot. I’d say we sent almost 40 emails back and forth before we even set eyes on each other irl.  I was fine with this for several reasons.  For one, the conversations weren’t short or shallow. The emails were all pretty long, and we seldom fell into clichéd discussions like, “what kind of [blah, blah] do you like?”  Our conversations generally consisted of things like career plans, what we were each looking for in a partner, expectations of marriage, social/racial situations in the Triangle, things like that.  We also had the name meaning conversation.   His response to my explanation was something like, “Oh, ok.  I’m somewhat familiar with the world views of which you speak. I also work with Muslims, so I’m familiar with their dietary needs.  Tell me more.” Right? Circle gets the square.

A second reason I was ok with the delayed meeting time is that I realize that this man is not only foreign, but he is also coming from a culture that is far less direct about certain aspects of interaction than my own.  It was fine with me to get to know each other a bit in this way and ease the nervousness that, in truth, we both had.  Third, at the time that we began conversing, we were both very busy.  I couldn’t have made time to meet him properly if I wanted to, and he was in a similar situation.  When we finally did meet, I chose to do so in the morning on a Sunday at a place where I was certain there would be a lot of people about.  I like to be outside, so we chose to go on a walk about Lake Johnson.  I wore a little, plain but cute dress and some low wedges.   Didn’t want to get too flyy and scare the dude off, but I did want to make him look me up and down a bit since it was our first meeting.  He, on the other hand looked a little bit like he was going to play ball with his homies.  I wasn’t altogether pleased, but I was polite, and the conversation was good.   He was thoughtful enough to show up with one of my favorite kinds of smoothie, and we had a good time just laughing and getting into some of the small talk things that we had chosen to skip over earlier.  This worked well for icebreakers and the time went quickly.  After walking a while, we got on a paddle boat and went around a bit.  He offered to do the paddling while I steered, which is good because I really wasn’t tryina do all that in a dress. Overall it was a nice day, and I left with the impression that I might be willing to see him again, though he would definitely have to kick it up quite a few notches.    

After that I actually had another date with someone from the free site.  Let’s call him Asian #4: a tall Pakistani, PhD student studying Geometry.  He described himself as an ex-Muslim agnostic, which was interesting to me, and he had made some funny comments about a comic series I like. A sense of humour and a tendency to read childish, nerdy isht is always a plus.  He looked pretty handsome and just as random as I am from his pix, so I decided to try him out. We met in Cary and went to dinner at an Indian restaurant.  Mkay, so, henceforth this person shall be dubbed Mangaman because manga and anime are literally all we discussed…the entire date.  Y’all who know me personally know that I like manga.  It’s a fun diversion, and the art and storylines can be more creative than anything else I’ve ever seen or read.  Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.  However it certainly does not consume every waking moment that I’m not working as it seemingly does in this person’s life.

cosplay (v) -  to dress up like characters from comics or cartoons
(which are commonly Japanese in origin, but not always as seen here) for specific comic/cartoon related events or for fun.

I thought I should die from boredom, but I remained polite and engaging.  We covered the whole broad spectrum of basic otaku-übernerdness.  We discussed Bleach in such detail as to make me feel as though I were being held hostage to the subject.  He got me into this serious conversation about whether Avatar Aang could kick Avatar Korra’s ass or not, and we spent a great deal of energy discussing the differences between the Elderscrolls III and V video games – ya know, Nerevarine vs. Dovahkiin, “You N’wah!” vs. “Fus-Roh-Dah!”  ... Y'all know what the hell I'm talking about; stop trying to make me seem weird, lol.  Getting back to the date: We went on in such a way that  I’m sure those dining nearby were certain that we were gonna start using the pakoras as dice and play a game of Magic the Gathering or something right then and there.  Now, don’t get me wrong I enjoy all of the things we talked about in moderation, but all of it in one sitting is simply too much to digest.  When he started drilling me on the different Starship Enterprise models, I was ready to go.  So, naaa, I’ma pass on Mangaman.  I didn’t completely Fredo him though.  I invited him to email me about his take on future Legend of Korra episodes. 

Well, folks that’s all I have to report at present. I have some other dates and hopefuls lined up though. That information will be forthcoming. 


“And thank you for your support” – Bartles and Jaymes


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