Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Homie, Lover, Friend.


Hi All! I just wanted to drop in and relate to you a certain experience I've had. You know that I've been trying this online thing for a while now. Since nothing has even remotely panned out as yet, I've become disillusioned with the process at times. Where's my friggin guy already! lol. No, I know it takes time, though it can be disheartening occasionally. They say that love is generally found when and where you least expect it. A little while ago, I found myself wondering if that's true. A friend of a friend who I haven't seen in more than 15 years found me on Facebook in 2011. I honestly didn't recognize him at first, but in the process of chatting it came back to me. We just exchanged pleasantries; you know, "how ya been?;" and "how's your family?;" "remember so and so?;" that type of thing. Then another full year passed without so much as a status like on FB from him. Then not too long ago, out of the blue, this person just inboxed me saying, "[insert my full name here], you are so beautiful." That's it. Just random like that. Now, initially I didn't pay it much attention. I was surprised, and I thanked him. "What a nice compliment to receive out of the blue," I thought but not much more than that. I have had the misfortune of coming across people from back in the day who have looked me up on FB for the sole purpose of trying to holla. Yeah, not nearly as romantic as it might sound. But this person doesn't even live in my state. Since we weren't really that close even as kids, and neither of us had tried to make any serious effort to reconnect after our initial chit chat in 2011, I started to think this might be one of those crazy situations where you meet someone you had overlooked long ago, and a relationship starts. Clearly I’ve been watching too many romantic comedies lol. At the very least I thought I might be able to get some shameless flirting in ^_^. After my reply thanking him for the compliment, he responded that he had always thought I was beautiful, even when I was the weird chick in high school. One thing led to another and we began to text. Before I knew it, we were flirting pretty heavily, and he was on some, "I will come all the way to North Carolina just to see and feel and smell and taste you..." Yes, dude has some talk game lol.


Apparently, there was a moment just after high school when we exchanged a friendly hug that stirred up some feelings inside of him. He had been interested in me since then. There was a short period of time when I was with my ex that this person and I lived in the same apartment complex. We never really spoke other than "Hi" and "Bye" when we might see each other at the grocer’s. He said that he wished he'd had the freedom to express his feelings for me at that time, but we were both in serious relationships, each of us living with our partner. I had no idea he felt this way. I was really taken aback. We discussed a lot of things, but other than the usual talk about what we've been doing since we last saw each other, we were able to speak on a philosophic level about some things. I must admit that this made me very attracted to his personality. I haven't been able to speak with anyone in that way since my ex and I were on friendly terms. That’s been ages ago. I'd forgotten how much I desired that type of interaction. It pleased me to my core to observe his manner of speaking - proper and intelligent with some slang mixed in, filled with desire and passion. Sista needs that y'all. I began to feel a nice little spiritual vibe between us, and I wondered at the possibility of us being able to make that connection grow over a distance. I've spoken before about my trepidation in entering into long distance relationships, but unlike the Boricua I was interested in, this person isn't too far away even though he's out of state. He said he would be interested in taking the time to let something beautiful develop between us. I can't express how pleasing this notion is to me, but, as you may have expected, there are issues related to creating that situation. Without going into too much detail because he may be reading, and because I'm certain there are readers here who know us both, I'll say that his situation is…complicated. Now, complication is not something that generally deters me if I feel the end is worthy. In this case, it may be. I felt strong enough about the idea by the end of our first conversation via text that I was willing to try it out and see what came of it. It's rare that I feel the type of vibe that we were experiencing, and I felt it would be foolish of me not to explore it just because the circumstances aren't easy. However, complication is one thing; entanglement is quite another matter.




He has some life situations that he needs to straighten out, a fact he readily admits. But he's working on it. If he can see his way clear of some of the immediate issues, I'm down to meet and see if I want to be with him as he moves past some of smaller issues. Until then, XOXO, Sweetheart. You know where I live.
Cheers Everyone!
Aya

2 comments:

  1. "Complication is one thing; entanglement is quite another matter."

    I like that. And it is applicable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was inspirational, but also 8 months ago. The saga continues... ?

    ReplyDelete