Sunday, March 31, 2013

Korean Dream? - Update 2

Peace All! We're getting around to the first anniversary of blackgirldating in a little bit, and I'm working on a surprise for you guys! Yay, surprises! Lol. In the meantime, I'm just going to dive right in and keep getting you up to speed with this update toward the present, starting from last August.  I managed to find another Asian guy of interest; let’s call him Asian5. He’s a Korean guy raised in the in the Triangle, about 6 foot, early 30’s, a bald head and glasses type with a little swag. Yep, he’s a semiformal sweater with khaki’s and Tims kind of dude – urban-ish if that’s what you want to call it without being too much.  That was cool with me. We were pretty informal with each other from the start, and that served to ease the nervousness. He’s incredibly sweet, raising his young son on his own, working for himself and also in his family's business. After a couple weeks of texting, etc., I decided to try him out. Even though my track record with Asian guys hasn't been stellar, each person I meet regardless of ethnicity, and regardless of whether we hit it off or not is a good experience.  Call it fact finding research lol. 

On our first date we went to the most awesome tea house I've ever been to.  He recieved major kudos for choosing that spot.  I met him at his apartment complex and he drove, opening car doors and pulling out chairs, being very polite and chivalrous. Politeness is something I value greatly.  Chivalry is awesome as well, but some of it isn't all that necessary for me; I guess I’m just not that ultrafeminine type.  However, it's those types of gestures that serve to convey a man's general interest and willingness to do work to get the girl, and I that highly appreciate.  We had strawberry crepes and some great tea just chilling, getting to know each other better, and having a good time. He's super funny, and that's always a plus for me. Afterwards we tried to hook up again, but our schedules kept clashing. We kept in touch though and continued to try to sort out the timing for another meeting. It took us a couple months before we were able to get things together. Of course I was doing my thing in during the interval, but we met again in October. We had become much more comfortable with each other by that time, and he had shown me some good things about his personality, namely that he is kind and compassionate. I was still going through things with my family at the time, and I also confided in him about some of my more introspective feelings regarding the disappoinments with the dating process.  He was comforting and supportive, and it really made me look upon him favorably.  On the other hand, there were some semi-off putting things about him, like his constant reference to himself as a chocolate filled twinkie (e.g that he is Asian with a Black man's soul or some such afrophilic attribution) and his thoughts about what he felt was my nonstereotypical Blackness.

I will say this: it's fine for a person who is not Black to be into whatever is considered to be Black culture. If that's your personality, then ok. I've known people like that all my life; I've dated some since starting this blog. Let's revisit my episodes with Jewish chef guy for a moment. I did give him another chance after he gave a lengthy explanation and apology about the popcorn incident. I visited his house once, and this individual had me watching DMX interviews on YouTube.
Like, "bruh...my nilo-semitic kinfolk...do you think I give a damn about what's happening in Earl's life right now? Do you think I ever did? Did anyone?" My point is that it often happens that when these aficionados of Black culture seek to date a Black woman, they make assumptions that perhaps shouldn't be made about what being with a Black woman is or should be like.

So, I went to Asian5's house to find him watching Meet the Browns on tv. Yup. Apparently Tyler Perry has a cult Asian following. Anyway when my response to his question as to why I didn't like the show were met with comments like "girl, you know you're really White inside" I had to get up and leave. Be into Black 'culture' all you like, but I'm with Issa Rae on this one - "no this dude didn't try to outBlack me..."
And poof. Another one bites the dust. That was October. For the rest of the year and into the present, I took a bit of a different turn. I'll finish up the updates next week.
By the way, if you’re a fan of Black girl dating drama and silliness, do check out Issa Rae’s series Awkward BlackGirl on YouTube.

Xoxo,
Aya

1 comment:

  1. Lol @ "outBlack me". That was new one for me.

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