Sunday, March 24, 2013

Love And Happiness - Update 1

Peace All. You're well overdo for some updates, so let me letcha know what's been going on. Things have been interesting the past several months. There has been lots of hope, disappointment, rethinking things, and potential on the horizon. All of that is good; the dating process in my view should be an evolutionary one.  If I’m not constantly reevaluating my needs and point of view based upon my experiences as I try to find someone, then I feel stuck.  With that, let me tell you about the guys. So much has happened, though, that I feel it’d be best to break this update into parts. In addition to this one, there’ll be another in a week or so.  Kindly bear with me. I promise lots of goodies ^_^
Let's begin by taking this back to my Caribbean Cutie days to our second Boricua, the one I met last May. He's an awesome guy. We met via Craigslist of all places and started texting and emailing pretty quickly. Ordinarily that might seem kind of risky, but I was reasonably confident from our initial greeting that he wasn’t a complete nutjob, and that we might have a lot in common. Plus we exchanged lots of pictures from the outset, and he’s pretty hot. He's a really intelligent and passionate guy, tall, handsome, and well built - I like a guy with a little weight to him. He has a great job in a similar line of work to what my father was doing for a lot of my youth, so I was somewhat intrigued by that dynamic. He was another math/science type – I seem to attract those – but also cool, down to earth, and a little hood (which can indeed be an attribute under certain circumstances). And of course he's from my home state which made us sympatico from the jump. The only issue was able to find with regard to pursuing the situation seriously was the distance. He's currently working in Iraq - not as a soldier, but under contract nonetheless. That's a formidable obstacle if I've ever known one. But we seemed to click so much that we decided to keep in contact and see what happened. He had been giving serious thought to coming back to the States already, and he’d be visiting in a few months for about 60 days. We had a nice little vibe going, so I figured I’d just let the scenario play out as it wished. Before you know it we started texting and mailing each other all throughout the day despite the time difference. We talked about any and everything from books and politics to Florida, our families, and umm other…very detailed …stuff ^_^ This went on for about 3 months - greeting each other every morning in both time zones, sending messages at work and on off time, chatting before we each went to sleep, sending pics and vids back and forth - every single day for months. We became Facebook friends, kept up with each other’s kids' lives, cheered each other up when we were feeling down, listened to each other’s ideas - the whole nine. I had some pretty serious family issues pop up in July, and he was very comforting during that time, more so than some people in closer proximity that I associate with.  We talked about dates I went on with other guys and everything.  We seemed to be forming a pretty decent friendship if nothing else. At the end of the day though, we're several countries apart! As great as he is, I had to view the situation realistically. Without real plans for us to be geographically better situated, we were on a train to nowhereland with that situation. I just decided to get off.
It hurt a little when it had to end, but you know. It was what it was. He made me feel really special for the little time we had together, and I appreciate the experience. More than that, I value the experience. Prior to talking to this guy, to be quite honest I had been not wholly but certainly focused on “choice demographic information” where men are concerned: age, race, occupation, income, marital and parental status, and that type of thing. I won’t say these things have ceased to be important to me, or that they weren’t a factor in my decision to consent to being involved with this Puerto Rican guy. However, it was the way he made me feel that led me to be as invested in it as I was. I missed feeling like I had a real connection with someone.  I had forgotten what that was like. In my last relationship, which ended up lasting six years, we focused on the development of those choice demographics rather than the development of our bond. In the end neither of us was happy, and we discovered that after all that time we weren’t even really close. Never had been. The guy looked great on paper but that was about all. I decided after Boricua#2 and I stopped talking that while demographics are still important to me in some respect, having an honest, open, spiritual, mental, and physical bond with someone is what I truly desire. Finding that is my true goal. He was put in my path to help me realize that, and I’m thankful for it. What do you all think? I'd love to know. That was back in August. In the next post, in about a week’s time, I’ll get you caught up some more. Cheers!


  1. Ups and downs. Good links, good friends, good convo, good vibe, good times, good idea?... Goodbye. Human interaction is a subtly, savory dish. We find dishes we like, but probably arent healthy long-term, we push away from the table. Such is life. And it's good to try different dishes.

  2. This guy sounds awesome I hear he is in the states now....

    1. That's awesome! I'm glad he is doing well!